Today I turn 40. I have spent most of last week looking back on my thirties. It has been a ride. A wild ride. Full of ups and downs. Thankfully more ups than downs. Last year I made the decision to get myself in shape by the time I turned the big 4-0hhhhhh. Not just in shape physically, but emotionally and financially. Let me tell you something, it is hard work. It is an on going process. It’s also something that I could never do alone. I am so thankful for Kevin and his support and my kids rock for putting up with all my crazy antics. In the long run I think we have really grown as a family and have had a lot of fun in the journey.
One of the things our family has worked on this year is to have as much fun as we can. It is as simple as that. Have more fun. Get out there and live a little. Do something spontaneous. It doesn’t have to cost a ton of money. Get creative and look for ways to make the everyday things you have to do anyway a little more fun.
I have worked so hard at changing how I looked at life and actually the world around me. I have made a huge effort to be as positive as I can be. Does that mean I don’t have bad days, or days when I think people suck? No that is not it. I just think differently. I let myself feel what I need to feel and then I move on. That’s it. I can’t dwell on things I can’t change. I can feel the difference in my whole day when I am looking at the day in a positive way. I also notice that how I am feeling seems to rub off onto the rest of my family and they tend to have a much better attitude in general. It’s amazing how good it can feel to laugh and try to find the good in something when the shit hits the fan. It’s all in how you react. It sets the tone for everything else that follows.
I believe in myself more than I ever have. I never really thought I’d get to that point. The point of believing in who I am and what I believe. I know that I am not alone and it is hard for so many people. It has been something I have worked on for so long. Finally feeling like I am who I am meant to be has been one of the greatest gifts that has come out of all the work of this past year. I still suffer from self doubt and have my own insecurities, but that is human. As I said before, I know that all of this is an on going process that I will always be working on. But I can tell you I feel such peace right now. I know I am the person in control of my life. I know it is not always easy, and I know there are times when things just suck, but I’m not going to let that do me in. That’s just not happening.
Okay 40. Let’s do this.